


Robin: Out of the Bag

by d0d0bird



Series: DC: The Brave and the Bawdy [5]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Adult Dick Grayson, Angst, Beating, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, Bullying, Dick Grayson is Robin, Dick Grayson-centric, Edging, Embarrassed Dick Grayson, Exposed Underwear, F/M, Flirty Selina Kyle, Humiliation, Humor, Insecure Dick Grayson, Light Angst, Making Out, POV Dick Grayson, Pantsing, Partner Betrayal, Past Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Poor Dick Grayson, Rejection, Seduction, Selina Kyle Flirts, Selina Kyle is Catwoman, Shoved Into Locker, Situational Humiliation, The Batman Who Fucks, Verbal Humiliation, embarrassed underwear male, eum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:21:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27251863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d0d0bird/pseuds/d0d0bird
Summary: Catwoman has returned to Gotham and begun a spree of burglaries. When one of these outings puts her in conflict with Robin, he becomes determined to beat her without Batman’s help. Unfortunately, he’s out of his league.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Selina Kyle, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne
Series: DC: The Brave and the Bawdy [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1945948
Comments: 4
Kudos: 1





	Robin: Out of the Bag

Robin peered through the binoculars as he zoomed in for a closer look. This museum had been hit twice in the past week, with different rare artifacts being stolen each time. Batman was preoccupied with more pressing cases, so Robin was staking out the museum in hopes that the perpetrator would hit it a third time.

He was in luck.

Robin saw a slender figure arrive on top of the museum, walking around the roof of the building before managing to get in through one of the roof access doors.

Robin drew his grappling gun, fired it onto the museum, and reeled himself over. He climbed up over the ledge of the roof and made his way to the access door. It was still locked. The thief had managed to bypass the door’s security without breaking the lock. Whoever this was, they were good.

Robin brought out a small UV light and shined it on the number pad beside the door. Based on which buttons had prints on them, he deduced which numbers were a part of the code. Since all of the numbers had the same level of smudging, he was able to conclude that each number was only used once. Now it was only a matter of narrowing it down to what order the numbers needed to be pressed. Batman had taught him all about this. Humans had a predictable psychology. There were certain patterns that were followed more than others with passwords. Using that knowledge, Robin made a guess on the code and punched it in.

He was right. The door clicked open. He opened and entered, quickly making his way down the stairway and into the back halls of the museum. He listened closely, but couldn’t hear a thing. He quietly made his way down the hall and into the display room. He looked around, still seeing nothing. He snuck from room to room until he finally heard the slightest hint of noise. He sprinted right for it.

“Stop right there!” ordered Robin, rounding the corner to face the thief.

“Well,” she purred back, “Look who we have here.”

“Catwoman!”

Robin had never met the infamous cat burglar in person, but he had heard everything about her from Batman. She looked the part. Tall and curvy, her black leather catsuit seemed to accentuate her features more than serve a practical purpose. It did however come with a utility belt much like his and a pair of yellow goggles that reflected light like, well, a cat’s eyes. Robin could only occasionally catch a glimpse of her actual eyes. She held an old and expensive looking vase under her arm.

“Boy wonder,” she said, tossing the vase aside.

Robin gasped and leapt for the vase. He had no idea what sort of value or history the artifact held. He managed to catch it out of the air and roll, successfully landing with the vase in hand. He sighed with relief.

“Good catch,” smirked Catwoman, drawing a bullwhip from her boot.

Robin went to move, but the whip moved too quickly for him. Catwoman instantly snapped it at Robin, causing the weapon to tightly grab his wrist before jerking it toward her. Robin stumbled and released the vase.

Robin made a grab for the vase as it fell through the air, but Catwoman had already reached him and delivered a powerful knee to his stomach. Robin coughed and keeled over as the air left his lungs and his gut surged with pain. He heard the horrific shattering of the vase exploding against the ground.

“...why?” choked Robin, finally getting his wind back.

“I was never here for that ugly thing,” scoffed Catwoman, “I was trying to lure one of you capes out. I can’t believe I had to rob this place three times to make it happen.”

Robin drew and threw one of his batarangs at Catwoman. She emitted a hiss as she swiped it out of the air, causing a loud metallic clang to ring out as she did. She brandished the claws at the ends of her fingertips.

“I have to say,” she grinned, “I was expecting the bat to show up, not the little bird.”

Robin let out a grunt as he threw another batarang. Catwoman deflected this one as well, but Robin used the distraction to charge her. He threw a punch, but she deflected it and made a swipe at Robin’s face with her free hand. Robin ducked the attack and attempted to deliver an uppercut to her chin, but she bent backwards to dodge it. To Robin’s surprise, she went all the way back into a handstand and kicked Robin with both legs. Robin blocked it with his arms, but was still sent flying back and off the ground before landing hard on the floor.

Robin quickly got back to his feet and assumed a fighting stance. Catwoman let out a long laugh.

“Truth be told, maybe this is better,” she said, “You’re a lot cuter than I thought you would be.”

Robin grimaced as his cheeks turned red, but tried to stay focused on the fight. He ran at Catwoman and punched at her, but she caught the punch and forced his arm down. He went to use his free hand, but she had already grabbed his wrist and pinned it to his side.

“Come on, boy wonder,” she whispered, “We don’t have to fight.”

Robin just gritted his teeth. He didn’t know how to respond.

“I’d much rather we get along,” she sighed, leaning in close to his face.

Robin blushed again. There was an almost sweet smell coming off of her. He felt his spandex pants tighten as he grew hard. Soon he felt a rush of pleasure as Catwoman pulled him close and pressed her body against his.

“Batman doesn’t have to know,” she said softly into his ear.

Robin knew it was wrong, but the intense feeling of arousal and flattery caused him to briefly give pause. Catwoman’s lips were getting closer. Against his better judgment, Robin closed his eyes and opened his mouth to welcome the kiss.

Then Robin felt a jerk at his waist followed by his legs going cold. He looked down in shock and saw that Catwoman held his utility belt in her hands and his pants were around his ankles. He was hard enough that his erection was clearly visible through the tent that was his white briefs. Robin barely had time to process this embarrassment before Catwoman gave him a sharp shove and ran off.

Robin let out a yelp as he tripped over his own pants and landed with his pantsed ass in the air as Catwoman sprinted off. Then the alarms began to sound throughout the building; Catwoman having presumably activated them.

Robin was still working to get his pants back on when the security guards arrived, lowering their weapons at the strange site of Batman’s sidekick struggling to get his tights up and over his boner. Robin smiled weakly.

***

“Here.”

Bruce handed Dick the yellow metallic strap adorned with pouches and straps. Dick nodded and took it, carrying it over to his costume case. Bruce watched silently as he did.

“Be careful this time,” said Bruce, “I don’t want to have to put together a new one of those every time you get curious.”

“Right,” nodded Dick.

Dick had lied and told Bruce that his previous utility belt was destroyed as a result of Dick tampering with it to give it a more efficient layout. He didn’t want Bruce knowing the details of his humiliating defeat at the hands of Catwoman. In fact, Dick had hidden just about every detail of that story.

“So what’s the plan for tonight?” asked Bruce, “Going to stake out the museum again?”

“No,” said Dick, “I think I have an idea of where their base of operations is. I’m going to hit them at the source.”

Dick had made up a story about a team of robbers attacking the museum. He claimed to have stopped them from stealing anything other than destroying a vase, but they got away by feigning a bomb in the building that would kill the security guards. It was only Dick’s pleading that prevented the actual guards from telling the real story to the authorities.

“Very well,” said Bruce, “I have a lead of my own to track down. If you need backup, let me know. We’ll coordinate something.”

“Got it.”

“Good,” said Batman, pulling on his cowl, “and Dick?”

“Yeah?”

“You made the right decision,” said Batman, “Letting the robbers get away to make sure the guards were safe.”

“Uh, thanks.”

Batman didn’t say another word. He simply approached the batmobile, climbed in, and drove off. Dick let out a sigh of relief. He didn’t like lying to Bruce, both out of guilt and out of the knowledge that Bruce was basically a human lie detector. Dick was surprised he had managed it successfully. He might not have liked it, but it was better than losing all of his mentor’s respect over such a screw up.

Dick walked over to the batcave’s supercomputer, where he used the giant monitor to pull up the software used in all of Batman’s tracking technology. His utility belt came with tracers, which he could remotely activate using the computer. He figured Catwoman would have kept the utility belt, so this was his best way at finding her.

Dick entered the keystrokes and looked up at the topographical map of Gotham on the enormous monitor. He watched a small red light ping at a warehouse district on the west side.

“Perfect,” said Dick, turning to get his costume.

***

Robin arrived at the warehouse in question. Robin sighed to himself. 

_ Do warehouse retailers have a contract with criminals or something? _ he thought.

He repelled down the side of the building and quietly made his way toward the warehouse, draping his black cape over himself to make himself harder to see. He made it to the side of the warehouse and checked the door, finding it predictably locked. He looked up and saw several windows toward the top of the building. He took aim with his grappling gun and fired.

The grappling hook shattered the glass before hooking onto the windowsill. Robin reeled himself up and leapt in through the window, quickly surveying the room as he did. It was completely empty.

Robin quietly opened the door into a hall and continued his search. Once he found and apprehended Catwoman, he’d be redeemed for his mortifying failure the previous night. He couldn’t believe a criminal had made such a fool of him… again.* He had to prove to himself that he didn’t need Batman’s help to take down someone like Catwoman. He’d bring her in and Batman would see just how capable of a hero he was.

*Like in  [ Robin & Harley Quinn: To Catch a Clown ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26736112) and  [ Robin: Fools and Flora ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27012907)

Robin opened a door at the end of the hall and found himself at the top of a staircase leading into a large, open storage room. Robin instinctively leapt over the railing ad swung under the stairs, recognizing that there was no other cover nearby.

Robin peered between the stairs to get a better look at the room. Large crates were stacked all around, obscuring most of the room from Robin’s sight, but he could make out a few lockers on the far side of the room. Robin pulled out a small flat monitor from his new utility belt and checked it. It connected to the supercomputer in the batcave and confirmed that Robin was practically on top of his old utility belt. It had to be in that locker.

Robin searched the room from where he was again and seeing no one, quickly made his way across the room to the locker. He saw that it was locked with a small combination lock. He drew a small shim from his belt, wrapped it around the lock’s shackle, inserted it, and forced the lock open.

_ Pretty low tech for a cat burglar like her, _ thought Robin.

Robin smiled widely as he opened the locker, seeing his utility belt hanging off a hook. Robin went to reach for the belt when he felt a shove from behind.

Robin flew face first into the locker and slammed his nose against the wall inside. He heard the door shut behind him as the entire locker began to tip from the force of the shove. Robin tried to adjust the balance, but the locker was already halfway to the ground. Robin yelled out in pain as an impact rang through his entire body upon landing.

Wasting no time, Robin burst out of the overturned locker with his head on a swivel, looking for Catwoman. The first thing he saw was the heel of her boot heading directly for his face. It collided painfully with his cheekbone and knocked him out of the locker and onto his back. Robin quickly rolled backwards and rose into a fighting stance.

“Bad, bad, birdie,” teased Catwoman, strutting toward Robin.

“I’ll give you one chance to turn yourself in, Catwoman!” shouted Robin back.

Catwoman responded by pulling her bullwhip out of her boot and snapping it at Robin’s feet. The whip caught his ankle and snapped around it as Catwoman yanked backward. Robin grunted as he leg was pulled out from under him as he fell onto his back right in front of Catwoman. The next thing he knew, she was on top of him and had pinned him.

“Oh, honey,” smiled Catwoman, “You’re not frightening anyone.”

Catwoman punctuated that sentence by letting out a long exhalation into one of Robin’s ears, giving him a tingling sensation on the inside and quickly making him hard again. Catwoman, feeling the erection through their costumes, pressed her body down on top of Robin and brought her face in close to his.

“I knew all about your little tracking devices,” she whispered, “I knew you’d be back for the belt.”

“Then why not turn the tracking devices off?”

“Because I wanted to see you again.”

Catwoman planted a light kiss on the same cheek she had kicked earlier. A jolt of pain echoed across his face as he felt a rush of excitement went to his stomach. She was pressing her body down into his even harder now.

Robin found himself gasping and reaching up with his lips as Catwoman pulled away and stood up. It took Robin a moment after that to realize that he was now free. She had let him go.

_ Does she really mean it? _

“Tell you what,” she said as Robin scrambled to his feet, “You let me walk away scot free and I’ll let you return all my stolen goods. That way we can remain… friendly.”

“And why would I agree to that?” demanded Robin unconvincingly.

Catwoman took several steps toward Robin. He stepped back instinctively and quickly found himself backed up against one of the large wooden crates. Soon Catwoman closed in on him and leaned in so close he could hear her breathing. He froze up as she leaned in close to his ear.

“Surely a smart guy like you could figure it out,” she said slowly.

She brushed her nose against his cheek as she backed away. Robin’s face followed hers and he nearly stumbled forward as she stepped back and away from him. He looked up at her inviting face and smiled. Then she held up two utility belts: one in each hand.

Robin looked at her confused for a moment before looking down at himself. Sure enough, she had unbuckled and stolen the belt off him when they were close. Robin was still processing this when Catwoman leaned in, grabbed the waist of either side of Robin’s pants, and yanked them down to his knees, exposing his tighty whitey tent once again.

“Hey!” cried out Robin, reaching for Catwoman.

Catwoman stepped back, causing Robin to trip over his own pants again and fall forward. He hit the ground face first and landed with his pantsless ass up in the air behind him.

“Later, loser!” 

Robin struggled for a moment to get up, but tripped over himself again as he heard Catwoman cackling as she ran off. Robin grunted in frustration, rolled onto his back, and began pulling his pants back on.

“Robin,” said a terrifyingly familiar voice.

“BATMAN!” squawked Robin, hoisting his pants all the way up so quickly he gave himself a wedgie.

Batman stood stoically standing over Robin, looking down at him expressionlessly. Batman wasn’t ever particularly expressive, but Robin could still recognize how he felt from body language. Right now Batman was deeply disappointed.

“You didn’t break your utility belt, did you?” asked Batman.

“...no,” admitted Robin meekly.

“Let me guess,” continued Batman, “Catwoman has stolen that belt and your new one.”

“...yes.”

“Which means she has not one, but two complete sets of my advanced weapons and tools."

“...yes.”

“Get up,” ordered Batman, “Let’s go.”

“Go?” asked Robin, brushing dust off of him as he stood, “Go where?”

“To Selina Kyle’s apartment.”

***

The lock clicked as Batman lightly pushed the door open. He quietly closed it behind him. He and Robin walked into the barren apartment. Robin looked about in confusion, seeing no sign of Catwoman or her equipment anywhere. There wasn’t even any furniture.

“Looks like Catwoman, er, Selina packed up and left,” said Robin.

Batman had told Robin on the way there that he had dealt with Catwoman before and that her real name was Selina. She had been out of Gotham for a long time and only recently returned. Batman was looking into her return independently of Robin’s investigation, which is what had led him to the same warehouse.

“Yes,” said Batman, “She hasn’t lived here in years, but her name is still on the lease.”

“Why?” asked Robin, “It doesn’t look like she’s using this place as a base or anything.”

“Correct,” said Batman, “I believe she is using it as a safehouse to store her stolen goods in the interim between stealing them and selling them.”

“You  _ believe _ ?” asked Robin skeptically.

Batman stopped and looked blankly back at Robin.

“Right,” said Robin nervously, “Sorry.”

“Just try not to get pantsed again,” said Batman.

Robin turned away to hide how much he was blushing. As he did, he took note of a closed closet. It was the only one in the apartment that was closed. Robin walked over and opened it.

Sure enough, the walk-in closet had been filled to the brim with expensive looking tech, antiques, and jewels. Robin turned around and signalled to Batman. Batman and nodded and began to walk over. Then they both heard the door click.

Batman aggressively pointed at the closet. Robin jumped inside and closed it on himself, watching through the slats. What was Batman’s plan?

“Well hello,” came Catwoman’s voice as she walked in, “Bat, what a surprise.”

Batman must have been right. She must have used this place to drop off and pick up merchandise. Why else would she come in costume?

“Selina,” said Batman, “We need to talk.”

“Tell me about it,” she smirked, “You need better taste in sidekicks. Boy wonder’s a total pushover.”

Robin tensed up and squeezed his fists and frustration. Still, he knew Batman wouldn’t want him to give away his position. He continued to watch and listen.

“It’s been years,” said Batman, “What brings you back to Gotham?”

“Business,” said Catwoman as she strutted past Batman and further into the apartment, “I take it you’re here to interfere with that business?”

“I can’t let you steal, Selina.”

“I know you can’t,” said Catwoman, not turning to face him.

Instead, Catwoman drew her bullwhip from her boot and whipped it at Batman. Batman caught it with his reinforced gauntlet, pulling it taught as Catwoman struggled to maintain her hold on it. Robin went to move out and join the fight, but he saw Batman subtly give a “stop” hand sign. Robin stayed where he was.

“Just like old times,” mused Catwoman.

Batman jerked Catwoman toward him. She released her hold on the whip and bent down into a reverse side kick. Batman blocked the blow and caught her leg. Catwoman jumped up and swung her other leg toward him. The kick landed on Batman’s neck, causing him to release the other leg. Still going off the momentum of her jump, Catwoman squeezed Batman’s head between both ankles and pulled him down to the ground with her.

Both costumed fighters landed on their sides. Catwoman hissed and pounced on top of Batman. She brought up one of her hands, claws out, and brought them down on Batman’s face. Batman caught the attack by the wrist. Catwoman swiped with the other hand and Batman caught that one as well. The two struggled for a moment before Batman flipped Catwoman onto her back and pinned her. They were nose to nose now.

“This really is just like old times,” said Batman softly.

Catwoman responded with a long passionate kiss on the mouth. Batman kissed back. Soon he had released her arms so he could feel her body with his hands. She used her newly freed hands to do the same. 

The two rolled over and Batman got to his feet. He immediately began to remove parts of his costumes, slowly backing away into the other room as he did so. Catwoman followed quickly behind him and soon they were both gone.

Robin quickly went about unloading everything from the closet and bringing it all to the batmobile, taking advantage of Catwoman’s very engaging distraction.

***

“All the valuables have been returned to their proper owners,” said Batman.

“And Catwoman?” asked Commissioner Gordon.

“She got away,” said Robin, “but it was necessary to extract the stolen goods.”

“Mayor’s not going to be happy about that,” sighed Gordon, “It feels like we only just got rid of that woman.”

“We had no choice,” assured Batman, “She had to believe we were her allies to distract her long enough to get the contents out of her apartment.”

“As long as she didn’t seduce you this time,” said Gordon, rather firmly.

“Actually,” pointed out Robin, “It was Batman who seduced  _ her _ .”

Batman quickly glanced over at Robin before looking back at Gordon. He had clearly disapproved of what Robin said, but for some reason didn’t say anything to correct him.

“Did he now?” asked Gordon suspiciously.

Batman coughed.

“Wait a minute…” realized Robin, “Holy erotic escapades, Batman! You didn’t seduce her for the mission! You just wanted to have sex with her!”

“We should go,” said Batman, clearing his throat.

“It wasn’t part of the strategy at all, was it!?” exclaimed Robin.

“Now,” said Batman, firing his grappling gun at a nearby building and swinging away.

“No, wait!” called Robin firing his own grappling gun and swinging after him, “How much of that was planned!? Is that why you insisted I stay in the closet!? Batman!!”

Gordon let out a long sigh.

“Dad?” came a voice from behind.

“Barbara!” cried Gordon, spinning around nervously, “What did I tell you about coming up here!?!”

Barbara Gordon was standing in the doorway leading back down into the police station.

“Alright, alright, calm down,” she said, “I was just checking. I thought we’d be going home by now. I wanted to finish working on my costume for that party.”

“Right,” said Gordon, “Yeah, sorry. Just having a smoke.”

“I thought you quit?”

“So did I,” said Gordon as he walked in with her, “but every time I do I get reminded that this is one exhausting job.”

**Author's Note:**

> bruce wayne is The Batman Who Fucks


End file.
